Should you disclose your Depression at Work?

Sometimes a job is just a job, but for most people it is much more. We spent in our office with our coworkers or customers more time than with our family. Occasionally, we give away at work so much of our internal energy and emotions, that coming home you feel totally “empty” and exhausted. Our workplace is our second home and often provides our second family. It can be either the provider or the destroyer of our self-worth. We define ourselves to a great extent by our work - after all, what is one of the first questions we are asked when we meet someone new? "What do you do?"


The work might be stressful and tiresome for all, but for people with depression it may become unbearable. Some can barely drag themselves to work every day, considering that as inevitable evil, required only to keep the paycheck coming monthly. If they work in an individual office, they might notice themselves just sitting and blankly staring at their computers. If they are in the service industry, they might find themselves snapping at their customers, venting negative emotions out of the soul. In any case, depressive episodes affect their concentration abilities, which in certain jobs, like construction or operating machinery, can be disastrous. No matter of how employees are good and knowledgeable, the noticed behavior and attitude eventually will be noticed and reported, which most likely will cost them their jobs.


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Should you disclose your Medical Conditions to Coworkers, Management, and HR?


There are just two approaches you can choose dealing with the situation: you either disclose your condition at work or you don't. In either circumstance, you should get treatment for depression, of course, if you aren't already.


There is no one distinctive correct answer to the question, because each case is different, and the decision should be made after detailed consideration of your medical condition, character of your occupation, relations at workplace, and other multiple supplemental factors. It is highly recommended to get professional advice from your therapist on the topic. But still decision should be yours, as you will feel the possible consequences of that, and no reversed action can be made, as soon as your depression becomes a public knowledge. You do understand that you cannot be absolutely sure that confidentiality can be obtained, and the disclosed information may leek to the party, you would like to be unaware on your illness.


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There are several issues to consider before you use one or another approach.


Reasons not to disclose


Some people choose to be fairly open about their depression at work. In many cases, they might notice a distinct chilling in someone's attitude towards them after the disclosure. You have to be ready to the unpredictable reactions from your colleagues and supervisors. Compassion and understanding might be also accompanied with attempts to avoid taking join projects with you and moving you to less important project tasks. Partially that might be to decrease a pressure on you, but also to great extent to find more reliable performer for the task.


Remember that you are always running a risk when you disclose your depression to anyone at work, even if you are promised to keep that confidential. You may feel that if you've comfortably discussed details of your love life with a co-worker or co-workers, you should be able to discuss anything. You should not count on that. Mental illness falls into a whole new category of true confessions. The subject is still taboo, and is still misunderstood by many people who haven't had a friend or family member who has a mental illness. There is no doubt that it could affect your potential for advancement. 


Your employer definitely recognizes the fact that the happy employees are productive employees. So it's in a company's best interests to make sure workers get what they need to be healthy — mentally and physically. However, a stigma still surrounds mental illness. Depending on the atmosphere and environment you work in, disclosing depression can seem like asking for trouble in many cases. Your coworkers may see it as an excuse; your boss may think of you as weak, and you might even be the subject of gossip. Of course, this shouldn't be the case. But who hasn't worked at a company where acting human — instead of like a cog in the machine — was viewed as a flaw? Any kind of personal issues were frowned upon; nothing mattered except the work.


As a general note, unless you take the medications, impairing your performance in the course of your job, you are not required by Law to disclose your conditions to your employer.


Some work cultures are more difficult, if not impossible, in which to disclose your mental illness. I have received several heartbreaking emails over the years from people in the U.S. military who were afraid to even seek treatment for their depression, even from a non-military doctor, for fear that they would be exposed somehow. I'm sure they were right to be concerned.


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Reasons you should disclose


One guideline is to be open only when it would be worse to keep quiet. In other words, if it's clear that your performance has suffered and you are afraid that you are going to be fired, you need to disclose your condition. Definitely, bringing your condition up at the moment when you are in the process of being fired due to your performance won't protect you, because you didn't give your company the opportunity to accommodate your condition. The ADA requires employers to make accommodation to an employee with a "known condition."


"I think we've come a long way in terms of identifying that depression is an important issue in the workplace," says Dr. Michelle Riba, M.D., a professor of psychiatry at the University of Michigan, in Ann Arbor. "But for the individual who's working in an office or another situation, one really needs to think about why any medical condition would be discussed. Not that there's anything wrong with disclosing, but one has to be really clear about what one hopes to gain."


The Americans with Disabilities Act prevents employers with 15 or more employees from discriminating against people with serious health problems (including depression), and it requires them to accommodate disabled employees. In order to be protected by the law, however, employees must disclose the nature of their disability to their employers.


Another reason you might want to disclose your depression is if you know of another employee who disclosed that they are mentally ill and were treated fairly. In this situation, it's better that your employer know than letting them think that you are simply a poor performer.


"Assuming your employer is understanding, it's always better to tell about your depression," says Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression, noting that if your company provides mental health coverage, there's a better chance you'll get a positive reaction when you disclose your depression.


"A good relationship with your boss is an indicator you can go public," recommends Gabriela Cora, a psychiatrist and MBA who practices at the Florida Neuroscience Center in Fort Lauderdale. But will you have the same good relationship with your boss after your disclosure, remains a big question…


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Summary


As a general concept, most experts say if you’re diagnosed with depression, do not immediately tell about that your coworkers, manager, or Human Resources. Claire Miller is the director of the American Psychiatric Foundation’s Partnership for Workplace Mental Health. She says you should only tell your employer if your anti-depressants make you so sleepy that you need a later start to your workday, or if your depression is affecting your job performance. However, if you do feel that your performance has degraded as a result of your illness, do not wait until you get a bad review! Also find out the company’s stance on mental health – there might be a professional on staff you can see – or you could take a leave of absence.




Sources and Additional Information:




Bereavement Leading to Suicide: Statistical Analysis

There is an increased risk of suicidal gestures, completed suicide and death from accidents following the death of a spouse, parent, or a child. The suicide risk for those widowed was first observed over a century ago by Durkheim who found that suicide was higher amongst those widowed compared to those married.


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When   compared   to   the   general   population Mergenhagen and colleagues found the mortality ratio for suicide in young widowers (45–64 years of age) was about four and a half times the rate for married men of similar age. Most studies have found a gender bias with younger men being at the greatest risk of suicide, although Heikkinen and coworkers found evidence of an association between widowhood and women aged 60–69 years.


A 12-year follow-up study in Washington, USA of 6266 white married and 3486 white widowed people aged 60 years and older found death rates from suicide to be 28.7 per 100 000 person years for the married and 40.4 for the widowed. There was also a significant effect from gender with the suicide risk for widowed men estimated to be 3.3 times higher than that for married men, while the risk of suicide for widows and married women was found to be similar.


Several longitudinal studies have found that the risk of suicide is greatest for the period immediately following the loss. MacMahon and Pugh compared 320 widowed people who had committed suicide to a matched sample of widows who had died from non-suicide causes. They found that, although the risk of suicide among the widowed population was generally higher in the first 4 years after the death of the spouse, the risk of suicide in the first year was 2.5 times higher, and in the first, second and third years about 1.5 times higher. The risk at 4 years or more was equal to that of the control group. The age-standardized suicide rate was 3.5 times higher for widowed men than married men. Widows had twice the risk compared to those who were married.


Based on MacMahon and Pugh’s findings, Duberstein and colleagues used the psychologic autopsy method as a way of distinguishing those who committed suicide more than 4 years after the death of their spouse compared to those who committed suicide within 4 years. Although using small numbers (n = 21, > 4 years; n = 14, < 4 years), they found those who committed suicide within 4 years had significantly higher rates of psychiatric treatment, earlier loss or separation from one or both parents and a non-significant (P = 0.07) higher rate of substance abuse. Interestingly, loss of a close interpersonal relationship (including bereavement and separation) is a significant predictor of suicide in alcoholics.


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While the magnitude of the risk varies with the methodology, there's ample evidence that widows/widowers exhibit what actuaries call "excess mortality." Death rates are highest within six months after bereavement and continue high for about three years. Bereavement produces higher mortality among widowers than widows, and among younger ages than older (although the age differences aren't always significant). Socioeconomic status doesn't seem to matter.


Most experts agree there are three main reasons for this phenomenon, although the statistics don't tell you which is most important:
  • Death-related events affecting both spouses at the same time, such as both being in the same accident. Duh, but you can't overlook the obvious.

  • Common risk environment - for example, both spouses live in the same neighborhood subject to the same environmental factors such as pollution. Similarly, both spouses may engage in common health-related behaviors such as smoking or drinking.

  • Direct dependence, where the death of one spouse changes the other spouse's life, also called "broken-heart" syndrome. This is the kind we're mainly interested in, but it can be tough to distinguish from the first two even if you've got the resources for a case-by-case analysis.



Suicide rates are significantly higher for the recently widowed - this was established by pioneering sociologist Emile Durkheim in a classic 1897 monograph. Suicide is most prevalent during the first week after the death of a spouse. There are also higher rates of death due to heart disease and conditions such as cirrhosis.


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The mortality risk is higher for widows/widowers under age 55 when the bereavement was sudden, as from accident. For widows/widowers in the 50-to-65-year range, the highest risk is when the spouse has died of chronic illness. Several studies indicate the risk is lower when the widow/widower has family or other social support and higher when the bereaved is socially isolated.


Why are the bereaved at higher risk? The two broad explanations are grief and stress. Grief can lead to depression and its consequences. Stress can impair the immune system, increasing susceptibility to disease, and trigger dangerous behavioral changes such as higher cigarette and alcohol use. Most data is based on married couples because it's easier to obtain, but there are indications of a similar mortality increase following the death of children, siblings, and parents. Sure, grief is natural and proper, but it's healthier for the survivors to move on.




Sources and Additional Information:
An Atlas of Depression by David S. Baldwin and Jon Birtwistle




13 Tips for Dating with Depression

Dating presents a challenge when one is depressed and has difficulty feeling or expressing joy. About 18 million Americans suffer from depression, with another 20 million worldwide using dating sites on the web each month according to On Line Dating Magazine. In fact at least 20 per cent of American women and 10 per cent of men experience major depression sometime in their lives. Therefore the question on looking for relationship during the mild to moderate depression episode is quite a common situation in the modern world.


Regarding depressed people and dating, Helen Friedman, PhD, a clinical psychologist in private practice in St. Louis says, “Sometimes when you don’t feel like smiling, but are in a situation where you’re expected to be happy, that can make you feel even worse.”


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Meeting a new person, however, can also be a source of great joy.


Following these ten tips might make the prospect of dating a little easier for depressed individuals:


Remember, you can be happy!


It is important to remember that everyone has something in their past that they are less than proud about, and depression is nothing to feel ashamed of. Everyone has something in their past that can be cast in a negative light, as none of us are perfect. Try to remember that your depression does not define who you are. If you have suffered from depression and have overcome it, you are likely a stronger and more compassionate person because of your experiences. If you are still struggling with depression, anyone worth being with will accept your illness along with all the positives you offer them.


Depression is a serious illness but it's a treatable one, and it doesn't mean that all your potentially great relationships are doomed. "It is absolutely possible for two people to have a relationship when one of them lives with depression," says Heather Cobb, spokesperson for the National Mental Health Association (NMHA). "Most people who seek treatment do get better."




Consider professional help


If a person is not already receiving treatment for his/her depression, getting professional help is advised. When depressed, dating might potentially magnify some symptoms, such as fatigue, irritability, low self-esteem and decreased libido. According to Mental Health America, 80% of those who seek treatment get relief; therapy and medications are successful in most cases.


Time it right


Despite the urging of family and friends, if a depressed individual does not feel up to dating, it is best to postpone. Taking care of oneself is priority in order to care of someone else in a relationship. Maintain positive thoughts, consistently take medications and attend therapy sessions, keep company with others who are supportive and upbeat in order to be at your best when dating opportunities occur.


Don’t tell on first date


It is not necessary to bare your soul, or your depression on a first date. Before confiding in another, ensure that person is someone who is going to be a constant in your life; someone for whom you genuinely care about and with whom you wish to have a prolonged relationship.


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When Should I Tell?


The time to tell someone about your depression is either when your condition gets in the way of the relationship or the partnership starts to become serious. So, if you get knocked on your ass by depression and have to cancel a Friday night date, tell him or her what's going on. But do it in person, not via email or over the phone, as this lets them know that you are serious about the relationship. Equally, if you are shacking up or getting married, best to come clean about the depression, even if you haven't experienced any bouts since you started dating, as there may be times when your partner will need to stand by and support you, and they have a right to know what they are signing up for.




How to talk about it


When you are ready to reveal your medical condition, avoid blurting it out. Preface your conversation with comments about having something important to discuss and you are doing so only because the person in whom you are confiding is important to you. Share that you have been diagnosed and are receiving treatment. Conclude by reiterating how important this person is to you and that you are telling about your depression, in order to be completely honest and forthright.


Accept assistance


It is important to let your partner know how he/she can help you, according to Sheela Raja, PhD, clinical psychologist and assistant professor at the University of Illinois at Chicago. For example, if daily exercise is part of your treatment regimen, invite your partner to join you taking walks or working out. Consider couples counseling so that your significant other might learn other ways to be helpful.


Be patient


Dating when depressed might not fit the stereotype of men taking the initiative and women being joyful at being catered to by another. A male partner might not always feel up to making plans and a female might not always be smiling and upbeat in response to her partner’s catering. With raised awareness, these deviations to normal expectations can be coped with more easily.


Low libido


It is common for depressed persons to lose interest in sex. Sometimes medications keep the disposition in balance, but decrease the libido. Talk to your doctor about alternative medications, if this is the case. In any event, it is possible to display affection in other ways when the mood is not right due to depression issues.


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Do not take personally


If someone backs off after you reveal this, DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY. We fear what we don’t know. Some people just do not have any experience with these situations or don’t understand. The stigma attached to these conditions is diminishing because it is more and more common in the modern society, and people are feeling more comfortable discussing these topics and revealing their own battles.


Don’t repeat mistakes


If you made the mistake of investing time with someone who made you feel bad, or worse yet, rejected you, talk it over with a therapist and move on. With practice, you will be able to recognize the signs and discern early on the level of maturity and compassion in prospective dates.


On line dating


Many individuals nowadays indulge in internet dating. There are special sites especially geared to those with depression or other mental and physical issues, such as nolongerlonely.com. It is not necessary to limit one’s exposure to such as this site, however, as mainstream dating sites might also be effective ways to meet suitable dating prospects.


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Acceptance


Most importantly, if you want to be accepted by others, accept yourself. All people have baggage of one type or another; weight issues, acne or a difficult past can be as challenging as suffering from depression. When the right person comes along, depression will not be a deal breaker.


In conclusion, do not allow the fact that you are battling with depression to preclude a satisfactory dating life. Use these thirteen tips as a guide for lessening the challenges and increasing the joy of dating.




Source and Additional Information:




Buddhism on Depression: Religious, Psychological, and Cultural Perspectives

Introductions


Depression can come in various forms, from a passing blue mood to a severe psychological condition like major depression or manic-depressive illness, which require extensive treatment. The more serious conditions require professional help with for example intensive therapy or medication, there seems to be no easy way to avoid that. General psychology has determined that depressive disorders are often caused by a combination of genetic, psychological and environmental factors, but can also be caused by other illnesses. Women experience depressive disorders twice as many as men, and hormone levels appear to have a significant influence.




Please note that this page deals mainly with aspects of the 'lighter' forms of depression, the techniques described here should not be considered in any way to replace professional treatment for a serious psychological condition. However, the discussed techniques may help to avoid the recurrence of depression, once one has come out of the 'black hole' again.


Buddhism generally approaches depression from a quite different viewpoint than modern Western psychology. The Buddhist perspective is that an underlying selfishness/egotism is often the basic cause of feeling depressed. Please realize that if this is upsetting you, basically this is considered the main psychological problem that everyone has according to Buddhist psychology, and depression can be an unexpected result of it. Also, this does not mean that the suffering person should be 'blamed' for the condition, but rather opens up a very different approach to the problem using meditation and emphasis on compassion and loving-kindness. Even though these methods may neither be quick nor instantly effective, negative side effects are virtually unheard of; and who cannot use a bit of emphasis on loving-kindness?


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A very interesting aspect of reflection on compassion and love is the point that we need to respect, forgive and have compassion not only for others, but ourselves as well.


One of the causes for depression can be a strong sense of dissatisfaction with ourselves; perhaps the page on lack of self-confidence could be helpful? In modern society, it appears that only 'being number one' counts, but this leaves out the other 6 billion people, including 'me'. Does that mean that I am worthless? Of course not!


Just look at the other end of the scale: many of our so-called great heroes of the past are admired for their power, courage and intelligence, but how many heroes can you think of that actually made it a point to create happiness and security instead of waging war and creating havoc? Simply being a loving and caring person tends to help the world a lot more than being 'number one'. One may admire pop-idols and movie stars, but many of them are (or will be) in a sorry state, addicted to drugs and 'life in the fast lane'; not understanding that happiness is a state of their own mind, not of their bank account, level of drugs, availability of sex etc.


If we can genuinely wish ourselves happiness and radiate that wish to others, our state of mind can change dramatically. If we change our mind, we can change our mood - a simple process, but not easy to achieve quickly. One of the most important things is to understand that we can change our own mind if we make a bit of an effort. If we would not be able to change anything in our mind, how did we ever learn to read and write?


Andrew Solomon wrote in 'Anatomy of Melancholy':


"When you are depressed, the past and the future are absorbed entirely by the present, as in the world of a three-year-old. You can neither remember feeling better nor imagine that you will feel better. Being upset, even profoundly upset, is a temporal experience, whereas depression is atemporal. Depression means that you have no point of view."


When we are in such a state, we probably need more than what is described below, but once we can see the way out again, it is possible to work on a more permanent change of our mind.


The great Buddhist sage Nagarjuna said:
If there is a remedy when trouble strikes,

What reason is there for despondency?

And if there is no help for it,

What is the use of being sad?
So come what may, I'll never harm

My cheery happiness of mind.

Depression never brings me what I want;

My virtue will be warped and marred by it.


Openness can be another key factor: 'miracles' do happen when we stop resisting them, because although the result can appear miraculous, our mind changes continuously, and our minds can only be changed by ourselves. Sincerely trying to help others is probably the best cure when we really feel sorry for ourselves. But if we are not mindful of ourselves and others, helping others can lead to Burnout, see this small part in the compassion page. So the Buddhist approach of study and meditation emphasizes taking control over our own mind and directing it into more positive habits.


From notes on a teaching by His Holiness the Dalai Lama:


"There was an empirical study that found that people who have the tendency to use more self-referential terms (I, me, myself) tend to have more health problems and earlier deaths (the Dalai Lama had heard this the day before from another speaker in neurology at a symposium on Buddhism and meditation in New York City). These people have more involvement with the self. Being self-absorbed has an immediate effect of narrowing one's focus and blurring one's vision. It is like being pressed down by a heavy load. If, on the other hand, you think more about others' well-being, it immediately makes you feel more expansive, liberated and free. Problems which before may have seemed enormous would then seem more manageable."


The following message appeared in a Buddhist discussion forum, where self-centeredness was discussed as a possible important factor in depression:


"Having myself experienced extreme, regularly to the point of suicidal, depression, I think I can understand your point of view at least to a certain extent. But on the notion of self-centeredness, I'm afraid I have to agree. From my own experience, coming through a massive clinical depression and coming through to the other end, cured, I believe self-centeredness to be the very cause of depression. And not just depression, but every ailment in the world as we know it. The irony is, I can only see this NOW, with hindsight, looking back at my mind state when I was depressed: "ego all the way, me me me, MY problems, MY depression, MY past, MY MY MY MY..." That very self-absorbed, self-centered fascination with my own ego and its agenda mind state is exactly what kept me trapped in that depression for so long. It's only when I started to consider that maybe -- just maybe -- as one of the 6 BILLION people on this plant, other people had problems FAR WORSE than mine, that the clouds began to part. And when I realized that I was being very selfish and WASTING my life in a state of -- excuse me, but there are few better terms -- mental masturbation.


All I was doing was feeding my ego, indulging its little whims and woes, and feeling sorry for myself. What was I doing for humanity? Nothing. And yes, that is self-centredness in its highest -- or should I say lowest -- form.




Of course, the great curse of the ever-nourished ego -- the root of all depression -- is that when you're IN that state, you CAN'T SEE it for what it is. It's like the people stuck in the Matrix (the film). They wouldn't believe it if you told them they were living in a dream. You have to wake up for yourself, then you see it."


Joshua Bryer


From Working with Anger by Thubten Chodron:


"We often focus on a few circumstances in our life that aren't going well instead of all those that are. Although we all have problems, when we over-emphasize their importance, we easily begin thinking that we are incapable and worthless. Such self-hatred immobilizes us and prevents us from developing our good qualities and sharing them with others.


When we look at the broad picture, however, we can see many positive things in our life. We can rejoice that we are alive and appreciate whatever degree of good health we have. We also have food (often too much!), shelter, clothing, medicine, friends, relatives, and a myriad of good circumstances. Many of the people reading this book live in peaceful places, not in war-torn areas. Many have jobs they like, and family and friends they appreciate. We shouldn't take these for granted. Most importantly, from a spiritual viewpoint, we have access to an authentic path, qualified teachers to guide us, and kind companions who encourage us. We have genuine spiritual aspirations and the time to cultivate these. Thinking about these good conditions one by one, we will be filled with joy, and any sense of being incapable and hopeless will vanish."


Similarly, the Buddha himself said:


"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think.

When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves."




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Driving Ourselves Crazy


With most problematic states of mind, and certainly with depression, we often have a tendency to maintain the problem by self-confirmation. What I mean with that is often repeating to oneself things like "I am depressed", "I feel miserable", "Life sucks", "They are bad", "I hate myself", "I can't do it". The problem is that when we repeat this often enough, it will all come true! These kind of self-obsessive thoughts blind us to the needs of our family and friends, and we do nothing to help them. As a result, we receive less positive feedback and love from them, and also less simple satisfaction and joy of making them happy.


In Buddhism, we use meditation to improve our state of mind by habituating ourselves to a positive state of mind, but repeating the above sort of tantrums throughout the day will only keep us in the same negative state. Just imagine what happens if a perfectly happy woman suddenly starts saying to herself "I feel miserable, I hate myself" once every five minutes...


Instead, positive affirmations can have a strong therapeutic effect; "I love my family", "I don't need to grow hungry", "Other people are much worse off than me", "I can help others", "I am OK".


So a simple technique is to forbid yourself using the word 'depressed' and your standard negative expressions, but replace them with more positive phrases. It takes quite a bit of mindfulness in the beginning, but with a bit of persistence you can talk yourself into a better mood!


From Ven. Thubten Gyatso:


"Should you flush your Valium and Prozac down the toilet? No, not yet. Begin with small actions to help others - empty the garbage can without being asked, clean up your own mess in the kitchen, polish the shoes of others. Smile occasionally. Gradually build up the courage and determination to confront your self-cherishing mind and declare yourself a slave and friend of all living beings. Then you will extract more joy from cleaning up somebody else's mess in the kitchen than you will ever get from watching television. Not only will this lift your depression, it will place you on the path to bliss."


Excerpt from Lama Yeshe's talk at VajraYogini Institute, France, September 5, 1983:


"In Western cities nowadays, you can see, the older you are the more problems you have. When we are young, not so many problems, but then there are drugs and sex, and eventually they become dissatisfying, then more depression, more depression. So, as your body becomes bigger and your brain becomes wider, you have more and more problems and become more and more depressed. The more money you have the more problems come. You can see this.


You only take care of your body, you never take care of your mind, and the result of this imbalance is depression. For most western people this is the case: only the body is reality and they don't care about the existence of the mind, the soul, the consciousness. They don't believe they can change their minds. They can change their nose through an operation, but they don't believe they can change their mind. And when you believe this, then no way can you resolve your depression.


Our thoughts, our mind or consciousness are mental energy and cannot be localized in the body. It cannot be touched; it has no form and does not travel in time and space. We cannot touch it or grasp it.

What is important to understand is that the view you have of yourself and the view you have of your environment are based on your own mind; they are the projection of your mind and that is why they are not reality."


Twenty-Four Brand-New Hours (By Thich Nhat Hanh)


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Every morning, when we wake up, we have twenty-four brand-new hours to live. What a precious gift! We have the capacity to live in a way that these twenty-four hours will bring peace, joy, and happiness to ourselves and others.


Peace is present right here and now, in ourselves and in everything we do and see. The Question is whether or not we are in touch with it. We don't have to travel far away to enjoy the blue sky. We don't have to leave our city or even our neighborhood to enjoy the eyes of a beautiful child. Even the air we breathe can be a source of joy.


We can smile, breathe, walk, and eat our meals in a way that allows us to be in touch with the abundance of happiness that is available. We are very good at preparing to live, but not very good at living. We know how to sacrifice ten years for a diploma, and we are willing to work very hard to get a job, a car, a house, and so on. But we have difficulty remembering that we are alive at the present moment, the only moment there is for us to be alive.


Every breath we take, every step we make, can be filled with peace, joy, and serenity. We need only to be awake, alive in the present moment. ...


PRAYER FOR FREEDOM FROM SUFFERING


May all beings everywhere plagued

with sufferings of body and mind

quickly be freed from their illnesses.

May those frightened cease to be afraid,

and may those bound be free.

May the powerless find power,

and may people think of befriending each other.

May those who find themselves in trackless, fearful wilderness--

the children, the aged, the unprotected--

be guarded by beneficent celestials,

and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.

The Buddha


Transforming Depression  (by Lama Zopa Rinpoche)


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The best solution to purify the karma of having depression is to do the purification practice of Vajrasattva. As long as the karma isn't purified, you'll continue to suffer from depression again in future lives.


Maybe you wake up in the morning feeling depressed for no particular reason. If you can't solve this problem through meditation it might help to just go to sleep, or go somewhere to rest, or take a nice drive somewhere. Otherwise you'll get upset, disturbing the people around you as well. When you're angry, all sorts of bad, uncontrolled thoughts can come into your mind.


If you're depressed due to a certain situation then you can apply the meditation techniques that relate to that particular set of conditions. But if you just feel sad for no particular reason, it's best to practice bodhicitta.


You can recite the verse from the Guru Puja,

"Please bless me to realize that the disease of the self cherishing thought is the door to unwanted suffering."


Blame the demon, the self-cherishing thought, for your problem of depression.

Then recite the next verse,

"Bless me to realize that cherishing others, bodhicitta, the attitude that leads all mother living beings to happiness, is the door to every excellent quality."


Another quote from Guru Puja is,

"Even if all living beings become my enemy, may I cherish them more than my life."


It's very good if you can recite these verses daily, especially when you feel depressed. Then you'll be using your depression to practice the meaning of these two verses; that all problems and suffering come from cherishing the 'I', therefore the I is the object to be renounced, to be given up. All your own and others' happiness, including all the realizations up to enlightenment- all perfections and happiness come from cherishing others- bodhicitta.


Because all these good things come from the attitude of cherishing others, they depend on other living beings. Therefore living beings are to be cherished forever. You need to repay the kindness of all these precious beings, to help them however you can. How best to do this? They've been millionaires countless times, they've even been universal kings but none of this power or wealth has freed them from the sufferings of samsara. The best way to repay their kindness is to practice Lamrim, to transform the mind from ignorance, attachment and self-cherishing into wholesome, pure thoughts. By actualizing the path to enlightenment you can easily liberate other beings. Therefore the best way to repay their kindness is to meditate on and develop bodhicitta in your own mind.


Taking


Every living being is the source of all your past, present, future happiness. Generate compassion by thinking, "I'll take all their suffering and its causes (afflictive emotions and negative karmic imprints) including the fires of the hot hells, the ice of the cold hells and the unpleasant, unhealthy, ugly, unpeaceful and polluted environments of human beings into my heart." This eliminates the self-cherishing attitude. Once the self-cherishing attitude has been destroyed do a short meditate on emptiness.


Giving


After the self-cherishing has been destroyed, generate love by giving your own happiness, your merit, all the good things you have, including your body, wealth and possessions. All their wishes are fulfilled as if they had a wish-granting jewel. By giving them all these things you create unbelievable amounts of merit. You can recite mantra while they're receiving everything they want and need. Actually they don't know they really need. What they need is to meet the dharma. But if they don't understand the benefits of the dharma, they want something other than dharma.


Receiving all these good things causes them to actualize the spiritual path, to purify the two obscurations (to liberation and enlightenment). They achieve the Rupakaya (the form bodies of a Buddha) and become enlightened. Think, "How wonderful it is that I can do all this for others! I've died many times in past lives while working for my own happiness, but it didn't accomplish anything. I'm still in samsara. I've never died while working for others. Even if I have to die for the benefit of others, for them to stop creating negative karma, to not be reborn in the lower realms and for their minds to become the dharmakaya and Rupakaya and enlightened, it would be immensely worthwhile."


Mediate on the extensive kindness and precious of all beings. "Every living being is the source of all my past, present, future hap. My own future Buddha, Dharma and Sangha come from purifying my negative karma enabling me to attain all the realizations and to achieve enlightenment. All this happens on the basis of other beings. Therefore every sentient being is the most precious thing in my life. Anything other than working for living beings is totally meaningless." This includes experiencing depression for them. There's nothing to work for other than sentient beings. Anything else is totally meaningless. Experience depression on their behalf by thinking this isn't my depression but the depression of numberless beings, this is their depression, their suffering. To give them every happiness; including freedom all the sufferings of cyclic existence and the bliss of full enlightenment is fantastic!


Feel the joy of it! This is their depression, so the most wonderful thing would be to experience it for them and allow all those suffering from depression to have every happiness. Then rejoice that you have this opportunity to experience this problem of depression on their behalf. "How fantastic it is that I'm experiencing this depression on behalf of all beings!"


Do this practice of tonglen (taking and giving) in the morning, afternoon and evening.


Think again and again, "How lucky I am that I can experience this depression for them. I've made many prayers to take others' suffering onto myself, so now those prayers are being actualized. How fantastic this is! It makes my life so rich, so meaningful! How fortunate I am to experience this depression on behalf of all living beings."


Think about the meaning of your life, a psychological method that makes a huge difference because much of the problem comes from your exaggerated concept of pain. It's possible to reduce or completely eliminate pain with the mind. "The purpose of my life isn't just to be healthy, wealthy, to have a good reputation, to be popular and have lots of friends. Even if I had all these things, it isn't the actual purpose of my life. Even if I live for 1,000 years or am perfectly healthy for eons, if I don't have love and compassion in my heart my life it's meaningless and useless because my life isn't benefiting others. Leading such a life would be empty. Therefore it doesn't matter what happens; if in my life there's health or no health; depression or no depression; cancer or no cancer, wealth or no wealth. The real purpose of my life is to make my death beneficial for others. Even if I have cancer, I'll make that experience beneficial for all beings by using it to develop compassion and bodhicitta, to achieve realizations and enlightenment." In this way the cancer becomes the cause of happiness. Depression can also be used to achieve enlightenment to benefit all beings in this and future lives, especially all those who suffer from depression- just like using snake venom to produce it's own anti-venom.


You're using your depression to achieve enlightenment. In this way it becomes the cause of happiness for all sentient beings experiencing depression. Think, "The main purpose of life is to benefit all living beings, to free them from suffering and bring them happiness in this and future lives. Even if I have cancer, aids, depression or whatever, the purpose of my life is to bring happiness to all sentient beings by experiencing these problems on their behalf." In this way depression becomes a quick way to achieve enlightenment. The same with cancer. Use it to quickly achieve enlightenment. If it's experienced for the benefit of others it becomes the quick path to enlightenment because experiencing suffering for others is incredible, unbelievable purification. This is excellent!


There was one monk in Thailand who was walking around the country. He came across a big river. On the banks of the river was a woman with leprosy, with pus oozing out of her sores. She begged the monk to carry her across the river. He refused, on the basis that his monk's vows prevented him from touching women. After some time one of the monk's disciples came along and when he saw the poor woman, unbelievable compassion arose in his mind. Without hesitation he picked her up and carried her across the river, even though her body was covered with open wounds. When he reached the middle of the river the woman transformed into Vajra Yogini and took him - not just his consciousness, but also his body, to Vajra Yogini's Pure Land. This means that by now this monk has attained full enlightenment, because anyone who goes to Vajra Yogini's Pure Land is enlightened there. Being in a Pure Land is a quick way to achieve enlightenment if it hasn't yet happened in your present life. In this case Vajra Yogini took the aspect of an ordinary, pitiful woman with leprosy in order to stimulate compassion in the disciple's mind. This compassion quickly purified the heavy negative karma blocking him from seeing Vajra Yogini.


In the case of the great Tibetan yogi, Milarepa, the karmic blocks preventing him to see Vajrayogini were purified by his pure service to his holy guru, Marpa.


It's the same for you. If on the basis of feeling strong compassion you experience depression on behalf of all beings, this meditation of taking and experiencing the suffering for others is a quick path to enlightenment, just like the example of the monk. It's a quick way to achieve enlightenment because experiencing cancer, depression or any suffering for the benefit of living beings is unbelievably purifying.


Suffering from depression can be a good thing because it allows you to easily see the pain of other people. By using your own experience of depression you can clearly feel the unbearable pain of many, many other people. There are so many people who are depressed and many others creating karma for future bouts of depression. Experiencing depression on their behalf might be even more powerful than practising tantra because if tantra isn't done correctly, on the basis of the three principal paths, it's not a quick path to enlightenment.


When feeling depressed you can think, "I'm exhausting so much of my negative karma to have depression that I've accumulated throughout countless past lives". Rejoice! You should feel great joy about finishing the karma instead of seeing the depression as something bad.


As it's said in Guru Puja, living beings and their environments are filled with unbelievable problems and sufferings, coming one after another like rainfall, sufferings that are the results of negative karma. "Please grant me blessings to see my depression as exhausting the results of my negative karmic imprints, and bless me to be able to always transform bad conditions into the path to enlightenment." You can recite mantra while doing this meditation.


For example when you wash a dirty piece of cloth, the water becomes black with dirt. You don't see the black dirt as a negative thing since it means the cloth is getting clean. In the same way, when you practice dharma negative karmas can ripen causing you to get sick because you're purifying so much negative karma by practicing dharma. So you should rejoice when you get depressed!


Depression happens in the first place due to being under the control of the ego, self-cherishing, attachment, anger, broken vows and pledges and having disturbed the minds of holy beings and your spiritual teachers in past lives. This depression is caused by the ego, the self-cherishing attitude and the self-existent "I". So rather than accepting the depression, give it back to the self-cherishing attitude. Use the depression like a bomb to destroy the wrong conception of the I. Then meditate on the emptiness of the self-existent I.


These are some ways to use depression to achieve enlightenment as quickly as possible. By using it to develop compassion and bodhicitta you collect merit as vast as limitless space and purify unbelievable amounts of negative karma. It's being used like a powerful bomb to destroy the wrong conception of the inherently existent I, the thing that caused the depression in the first place. It's the demon that has prevented your enlightenment, your liberation from samsara, all the realizations, and is the door to all your problems.


You can also do some preliminary practices such as Vajrasattva to purify the negative karma that causes depression.


Meditation on Affliction


Assailed by afflictions, we discover Dharma

And find the way to liberation. Thank you, evil forces!
When sorrows invade the mind, we discover Dharma

And find lasting happiness. Thank you, sorrows!
Through harm caused by spirits we discover Dharma

And find fearlessness. Thank you, ghosts and demons!
Through people's hate we discover Dharma

And find benefits and happiness. Thank you, those who hate us!
Through cruel adversity, we discover Dharma

And find the unchanging way. Thank you, adversity!
Through being impelled to by others, we discover Dharma

And find the essential meaning. Thank you, all who drive us on!
We dedicate our merit to you all, to repay your kindness.
Gyalwa Longchenpa, source: SoultoSpirit.com


How meditation on the Buddha can help, by Sogyal Rinpoche in Glimpse of the Day:


"There is a spark of hope, a playful humor about the posture we take in meditation, which lies in the secret understanding that we all have the buddha nature. So when you assume this posture, you are playfully imitating a buddha, acknowledging and giving real encouragement to the emergence of your own buddha nature. You begin to respect yourself as a potential buddha.


At the same time, you still recognize your relative condition. But because you have let yourself be inspired by a joyful trust in your own true buddha nature, you can accept your negative aspects more easily and deal with them more generously and with more humor.


When you meditate, invite yourself to feel the self-esteem, the dignity, and the strong humility of the buddha that you are. If you simply let yourself be inspired by this joyful trust, it is enough: Out of this understanding and confidence, meditation will naturally arise."


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A Teaching on Depression (by Ven. Thubten Gyatso)


Depression is a state of extreme unhappiness, described by sufferers in a recent BBC radio program as a black, dismal, dungeon of despair; as a stifling hot room with no means of escape; as a heavy overcoat of pain with the buttons soldered together; and as like walking through treacle. It is characterized by a sense of loss of control over one’s life, a loss of enthusiasm, and the inability to enjoy pleasure. One may know what to do, but cannot summon the energy to do it.


Depression may be precipitated by bereavement, illness, unemployment, and perhaps sometimes a neurological abnormality. According to Buddhism, however, the overriding cause of depression is self-cherishing - seeing one’s own physical and mental pleasure as more important than anybody else’s. Self-cherishing is irritability when our spouse asks us to do something that interrupts our own enjoyment, such as watching television, playing sport, or talking with our friends. It is the desire to get the best food for oneself, the best seat in the cinema, the best result in an examination, and the most praise from someone of influence.


How can a small thing such as selfishness, which we all have, be the cause of such a major illness as depression? There are two main reasons. The first is that unhappiness arising from selfishness is cumulative. When we do not obtain what we want, or are stopped from doing what we want, we often over-react to a ridiculous extent. Examine your own experience - how many domestic arguments have exploded out of incredibly petty causes? Even though we chastise ourselves for our stupid behavior, we repeat the same thing again and again. At home, at work, at the club, wherever we go to relax, our selfish behavior isolates us from others. The accumulation of small failures in life erodes our self-confidence, we are unable to be happy, and we spiral into depression.


The second reason why selfishness causes depression is because it prevents us from doing the one thing that is guaranteed to bring happiness - cherishing others. Self-obsession smothers consideration for the needs of others and we stop giving love. The constant whirl of self-centered thoughts in our heads, “I am so sad, I need to be happy,” blinds us to the needs of our family and friends, and we do nothing to help them. Our self-confidence takes a further battering because we no longer receive the feedback of love from them, or the pure satisfaction and joy of making them happy. The joy of making others happy is pure because we do not crave it again and again, unlike the joy of self-indulgence which is impure because it never brings satisfaction. Cut off from the world, we sink into unhappiness, self-doubt, and the thought that we are going insane. This is depression.


Buddha’s diagnosis of the cause of depression is not petty or discriminative. We all have self-cherishing, and if we allow it to take over our lives and block our love and compassion for others, we will be in danger of following that awful path into depression. Depression does not cause misery, depression is misery, at its worst. In the human realm anyway. Depressives may not believe this, but it can get far worse in other realms of rebirth.


To indicate our own part in the development of depression is not to point the finger of blame and cause guilt. If we can see that the cause is in our own mind, we will understand that the cure is also in our own mind.


Seeing the shattered self-confidence of depressed people, many new-age creeds attempt to cure the problem with the philosophy of “love yourself first.” But this is the cause, not the cure. The great Indian Bodhisattva, Shantideva, said, “If you want to be happy, you should never seek to please yourself.” Instead, we should seek to please others.


If we ask, “But, don’t I have to protect myself from suffering?”


Shantideva replies, “If you wish to be protected, you should constantly protect all others.” Buddha’s prescription for happiness is to forget yourself and love others. The more we look after our family and friends, the more they will care for us. It is so simple, so obvious, but we have to do it. Not just our family and friends; our purpose in life should be to protect every living being from suffering. When this attitude is supported by wisdom, we will never know unhappiness.


Should you flush your Valium and Prozac down the toilet? No, not yet. Begin with small actions to help others - empty the garbage can without being asked, clean up your own mess in the kitchen, polish the shoes of others. Smile occasionally.


Gradually build up the courage and determination to confront your self-cherishing mind and declare yourself a slave and friend of all living beings. Then you will extract more joy from cleaning up somebody else’s mess in the kitchen than you will ever get from watching the football on television. Not only will this lift your depression, it will place you on the path to bliss.










 
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